The Agony of Defeat

I have to admit sometimes it is really hard being a mom. Especially when your kids are struggling and you don't really know what to say. Let me elaborate.

This is the second year that our son, Matthew, has played football. Flag last year and tackle this year. He has played a total of fourteen games. His teams have won a grand total of one (that was last year). After 5 games this year, we are 0-5. And we've had some close ones. Last week, we had the first lead of the season. Last night we had our first half time lead. And we still lost.

A little history...Matthew played soccer for four years as a small child and his team was very good. They won a lot more than they lost. Therefore, he is used to winning. He loves playing football now, especially tackle. I have a son who loves to hit people (it sounds so barbaric, doesn't it?). He's playing defense and loves it. I think he would much rather be the one doing the tackling than the one getting tackled. But the losing is really starting to wear on him. I'm the kind of person who thinks that losing can be a good thing sometimes. I think it can build character and teaches you how to lose gracefully, but it's even beginning to wear on me. Week after week, I watch these boys play their hearts out only to have their hopes dashed. To their credit, they keep after it and do show improvement every week. Matthew has done very well this year playing his position and has been able to take away some good feelings from his performance. But last night was too much for him.

I always try to find something positive to say no matter how bad the loss was, but last night Matthew wouldn't listen to anything I said. He didn't have a great game but he did okay. Being an emotional person (as I know alot of us females are), I'm learning that sometimes you just have to back off and let them have their pity party. He was better by the time he went to bed and seemed to have shaken it off.

My hope is that he will learn from these experiences. Losing is tough but it does build character. It should make the wins that much sweeter when they do come. I also hope that he learns that you can't be the star all the time. The fact is that in life, you win some and you lose some and you have to roll with whatever life throws at you. Sometimes you have to let other people have the spotlight and have the great performance while you take a backseat. I will learn to stand back and let him vent his frustrations (in a healthy manner) because they will eventually blow over. He will learn to let it roll off and look forward to the next game. I will continue to stand on the sideline and cheer him on in wins and in losses. And just maybe, I'll learn to keep my mouth shut because sometimes he just needs me be to be silent.